Reason 5: *Viewer discresion advised-may contain harmful emotional elements- ages 12+
I am constantly on watch for those who commit stuffed animal abuse. At times this can be quite frightening. You see, the person who I catch most abusing these poor innocent beings of fluff is the person who sleeps in the bed next to me. Yes, Linda. She is the culprit. I sometimes lay in bed just waiting for her to pounce on her victim. You see, she waits until she thinks I'm asleep. Then she puts her evil plan into play. What a wicked girl. Let me give you an example of these every day occurances. This is Clara. 
She is Linda's favorite victim. Sad, I know. Clara came into our family an unsuspecting, sheltered little animal from BYU-Idaho, as apparent by her attire. She soon came to realize that Linda's love for her was just temporary. She only cares when she feels like it. Her mood swings are too wild to even fathom! Clara is often used as ammo! Linda throws her at lightening speed directly at my face!! AHHH! Look at poor little Clara. All she ever wanted was some love. *tear*
Sadly, these events occur often and cannot be controlled by anything in my present power. I do however have a safehaven for the love deprived and very loved animals. The abused animals get the friendship they need from the animals that have had residence here for a long time. It is a good balance. Overall, the system works well, and everyone gets along. Due to the secrecy of this program, we cannot disclose pictures at this time.
In the mean time, I will be working to save other innocent by standers from the same fate as this poor cow. My extensive studies and care cause me to lose precious sleeping time. This is hard to handle, but I know it is worth every minute. These animals need our help! Who else can help them but us? If you would like to help us in our cause, please call 602-265-5550. It's not the rejection hotline, I promise! We would never reject anyone!
Well, now that all my creative juices are gone, I suppose I had better go to bed. Toodle-oo!
~Rhonda~
*This is Linda Guthrie, and I do NOT approve of this message!!*
~But she wishes she could!~
She is Linda's favorite victim. Sad, I know. Clara came into our family an unsuspecting, sheltered little animal from BYU-Idaho, as apparent by her attire. She soon came to realize that Linda's love for her was just temporary. She only cares when she feels like it. Her mood swings are too wild to even fathom! Clara is often used as ammo! Linda throws her at lightening speed directly at my face!! AHHH! Look at poor little Clara. All she ever wanted was some love. *tear*
Sadly, these events occur often and cannot be controlled by anything in my present power. I do however have a safehaven for the love deprived and very loved animals. The abused animals get the friendship they need from the animals that have had residence here for a long time. It is a good balance. Overall, the system works well, and everyone gets along. Due to the secrecy of this program, we cannot disclose pictures at this time.
In the mean time, I will be working to save other innocent by standers from the same fate as this poor cow. My extensive studies and care cause me to lose precious sleeping time. This is hard to handle, but I know it is worth every minute. These animals need our help! Who else can help them but us? If you would like to help us in our cause, please call 602-265-5550. It's not the rejection hotline, I promise! We would never reject anyone!Well, now that all my creative juices are gone, I suppose I had better go to bed. Toodle-oo!
~Rhonda~
*This is Linda Guthrie, and I do NOT approve of this message!!*
~But she wishes she could!~
7 comments:
You girls make me laugh so hard it just makes me TIRED!
If only I had had insight years ago when I gave this poor cow to her...Linda violence is never the answer...
Rhonda, is that a real phone number? I was tempted to try it, but then thought, "What if it's someone's number?" and I chickened out.
You are a talented writer! I've thoroughly enjoyed your reasons for tiredness thus far and look forward to future posts. And that picture of you sleeping in reason #3 or so, I think you're really awake. Are you?
Is that the channel 5 weather hotline?
Hey girlies! Love your blog mucho. Hope tonight is not a sad stuffed animal beating!!!
I'll have to call and report a Mr. Brady! :) would a nice mom do that...hmmmmm???? Katelyn is always upset with the way he treats her "babies"- throwing them on the ground, standing on them, biting their feet, "roller"skating on them (yes, that abuses 2, 1 for each foot)! it's terrible, eh?!
should I put him in timeout for such meaness? katelyn always thinks so- she's even sent him once to timeout all on her own! and he even went! LOL
have a great, tired free day!
Poor cow--maybe we should start a Anti-Cow Abuse League, because cows are awesome ...:) This blog looks to be very entertaining. It makes me smile...even with the horrible tales of cow beating!
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